CASHANOVA's Downfall - Banks Are Responsible For The Recession

Cashanova's Downfall is a satirical essay disguised as a fairy tale on the economic crisis. Our villain Cashanova represents the huge multinational corporations like banks, insurance companies, and the stock exchange. The villagers are us, the consumers in the global village that the world has become today. Robama is the eldest member and leader of the global village. Can he sort things out and avoid the total collapse of the capitalistic system as it is known today?

Too much Stuff

Once upon a time there was a village where the people had everything. Actually they had too much of everything. They had too much food, too many gadgets, too much furniture and toys for the children. They had so much crap, there was no room left for the people themselves. They were bursting at the seams of health and wealth. The villagers had forgotten how to enjoy life at a decent level of comfort and joy.

The streets and highways were jam-packed full of cars and trucks. The houses were so crammed with things that there was not enough space left for the people to live comfortably. Every time they wanted to, say, walk from the living room to the kitchen, they would bump into furniture and have to move things out of the way, just so they could reach the kitchen to cook a meal. And then, once they had cooked a meal, they had cooked too much and because they had been taught by their parents not to waste food, they ate as much of the food as they could, so they got very fat and still had to throw away a lot of food.

The situation was becoming intolerable. Everybody was in a bad mood all the time or worse, they suffered from depression and had to go to the doctor and to counselling. All that was a terrible drain on the health services which could no longer cope with the demand.

Nothing was needed anymore in the village and no one wanted to buy anything. This was very sad because now the people had no work to do and they could not earn any money to pay the bills because there were no jobs.

Then one day, Cashanova arrived in the village and said:

‘I’ll pay you good money if you’ll work for me.’

‘Oh yes, said the villagers, what kind of work do you want us to do?’

‘It’s telephone sales, you know, gathering information, that kind of stuff.’

‘Oh yes,’ the villagers said. What kind of information?’

‘It's called Market Research. I want you to find out who needs what, and then I can sell it to them.’

‘But nobody needs anything anymore. We all have too much of everything, that is our problem,’ the villagers said.

‘Hhm, I see, well then I've just got the thing for you,' Cashanova said. 'You can sell shares of my companies to each other.’

‘Now that sounds interesting,' the villagers said, 'what kind of companies are they? What do your companies make, what services do they provide? Anything useful that we haven't already got?’ The villagers asked.

‘Never mind that.’ Cashanova said a little irritated, knowing full well that his companies weren’t actually making any useful products or providing any services at all. Cashanova's companies were financial companies that sold shares in other companies that were also selling shares in other companies that were selling shares in other companies selling shares etc…

The people were earning a good commission on every sale they made and, for a short period of time everybody in the village could pay their bills and could even afford to buy more and more shares in useless companies that weren't producing anything of value or providing any useful services but only selling shares in other companies that were also selling shares in other companies that were selling shares in other companies selling shares etc….you get my drift.

Share Prices Crash

But soon enough, when the people in the village found out that Cashanova's companies did not actually manufacture anything of value or provide any useful services, they started mistrusting Cashanova and the share prices began to fall because fewer and fewer people wanted them. Until one day, the share prices of all Cashanova's companies went down and down until all his companies went bust and the whole share market CRASHED!

‘What are we going to do now?’ the villagers asked Cashanova. Upon which Cashanova replied:

'Tell you what: I'll print up some money and lend you guys 3 trillion dollars, then you can all pay your bills and start shopping for luxury consumer goods again. That’ll take care of the economic crisis and save all our problems.’

The village elder by the name of Robama solemnly walked out of the crowd towards Cashanova and spoke:

‘Listen, you fool, you can't just create money out of thin air! That causes inflation, the devaluation of our currency. And we've already told you, we don’t want to buy any more things, nobody needs anything. We all have too much of everything, that is our problem.

It would be better if we outlawed your multinational corporations like banks, insurance companies and the stock exchange. I am awfully sorry Cashanova, but we really don´t need you any more. We'll manage on our own somehow. We are going to start growing our own food and making our own electricity for starters. Why don't you leave us alone, just go away and leave our village all together. Good bye and good luck to you!'

And now Cashanova was crying. But Robama and his villagers were compassionate people so they conferred for a while and then Robama said to Cashanova:

‘Oh, all right then, stop crying, we've agreed to keep you in the village as long as you put in your fair share of productivity. It can be in the form of something useful you make or some useful service you can provide. You see, Cashanova, we have come to the conclusion that dealing in money for dealing in money's sake is like eating your own back side.'

Another man stepped out of the crowd towards Cashanova and said:

'Money is a means of exchanging goods and services, it therefore cannot be, by definition, a salable commodity in it's own right. Time and history have proven that it just cannot work. So either you agree to our conditions of working for real productivity or you leave the village for ever.'

Cashanova sulked for a while and then slowly nodded his head saying:

'But I like money, I am very greedy. Besides, I have no other skills than selling shares in companies that sell shares in other companies that sell shares in other companies selling shares etc…'

Robama's wife gently put a consoling hand on Cashanova's shoulder and said:

'Listen boy, there are plenty of free courses. You can train and learn to do anything you wish. And we can help you.'

'Oh really?' Cashanova said, wiping his tears.

'Sure! Now stop crying and get on with learning a usefull skill, something that will help the whole community instead of milking it dry, OK?"

And now this is how things stood in the village:

Cashanova found a volunteer job doling out meals on wheels to pensioners who had lost all their savings to banks that had gambled their money away on the now illegal stock market. Useless consumer goods could no longer be produced because there was no longer a market for them. Once money had ceased to become a salable commodity and returned to its original function as a means of exchanging valuable goods and services, it began flowing freely again among the villagers who lived happily ever after.

The End.

While it is, in real life, impossible to dismantle the very foundation of capitalism by abolishing legal gambling in money, far more stringent measures are needed to control the crooks at the top of the financial pyramid. The people of the global village just won't stand for the insanity of the current financial system.

SUE ADAMS

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