A Violent And Abusive Marriage Story And Domestic Abuse Stories

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By Sue Adams

A violent and abusive marriage can last for many years without it being noticed by anyone other than the victims involved. This is the true story of one of those violent marriages where the abuse went so far that the marriage ended fatally.

What’s the matter with dad, mum?

When all was quiet she slowly opened the kitchen door ajar and saw that Allard was snoring on the bed with all his clothes and shoes still on, filling the whole room with the stench of wine. She passed him quietly and went to the child’s room, still shaking with fear. Tommy was sitting up in bed, wide-eyed and stupefied.

‘What’s the matter with dad, mum? Why was he shouting?’ She crept into bed with her young son and held him tight, wiping her face so he would not notice her cry.
‘Hush now, never mind, it’s OK, go back to sleep.’
‘He never helped me fix the old bike he bought for me you know. I asked him two weeks ago and he promised. But every time I asked him again he said he was busy painting.’ Tommy whispered, looking down.

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The Child

‘I know darling; your father hasn’t quite been himself lately. He is worried because he can’t sell his work and because we don’t earn enough to pay the rent. You’ll have to be patient with him.’ Come to think of it, she reflected, Allard had not been involved with his son the way he used to. They had a big book with all of Rudyard Kipling’s stories that he used to read to him every evening at bedtime. He used to sit Tommy on his lap and be very good at enacting the characters Mowgli and Bagira but all that had stopped now. In fact, now that she thought about it a bit more, Anna could not recall Allard taking Tommy on his lap since they moved to this attic. Her head was aching. With these sad thoughts on her mind she fell asleep, her head leaning against her son’s forehead, her eyes puffed up from crying.

ALCOHOL

Dear, dear, dear oh dear,
listen till you hear
how she's filled with fear
when you drink all that beer.

And don't you ever dare
beat her up, unfair!
Why not eat a pear
to calm your despair.

She can't let you go.
Keeps saying "no, no, no.
I cannot live without the glow
of his eyes I so well know."

And when you say "hello"
and make yourself beau,
she cannot bestow
you for another matelot.

But deep under her skin,
not far 'cause she is thin
you must feel the sting
that hurts girls of her kin.

Rather without a roof
than being living proof
that life is a spoof
with a spouse so aloof.

Injured

The next morning Anna could hardly walk to the metro station because her knee had knocked against the radiator when he had pushed her across the room. She had looked at her knee when she woke up from the pain this morning. It was all the colours of the rainbow and swollen. The previous night had been the beginning of six more months of wife battering nearly every time Allard got drunk. Anna endured the violent scenes. When she was alone, which was most evenings, she sometimes wrote poetry to release some of her concern and anxiety. She usually threw the poems away, not wanting anyone to know her deep shame.

When Allard wasn’t drunk

On the rare occasions when he did not wake up with a hangover, he sometimes talked about the subject. He had many excuses; one of them was that he blamed himself for the loss of their first child Mary-Anne. Plus not being able to sell any of his paintings. All that had changed him from being a brave war hero to a weak drunk who had lost all self-respect.

Angry

That's what made him so angry. He said that when he was drunk he was unable to control his anger and took it out on the nearest person, his beloved wife. He didn’t mean to do it, he said, he hated himself for hurting her and every time it happened he apologised the next day and promised never, ever to do it again. But he continued to beat her up, not quite so often anymore but still sporadically, when he was feeling particularly low. Anna knew how to escape the worst of it now. Whenever she felt an attack of violence coming on, she would lock herself in the kitchen and wait until she could hear him snoring.

So Charming

In his sober moments Allard was charming and kind. He was dreaming of a better life and promised Anna that he would soon sell his paintings and he still maintained he loved her more now than ever. She believed him, kept giving him another chance because she thought she understood how he felt and because she loved him. From an outsider’s perspective their “love” was not love at all. Allard felt inadequate and dependent on Anna the pig-headed optimist who kept hoping that the situation would ameliorate. Until one night, the bubble, or rather Allard’s wrist artery burst.

All she could hear was the sound of dripping. It sounded like he was pouring out a bottle of wine onto the floor in the next room but when she got up and slowly opened the kitchen door ajar; she saw where the dripping sound was coming from.

Allard was standing bemused, holding his arm in front of him. A tall fountain of blood was gushing up a foot high in the air from his wrist artery, severed by the broken glass. She immediately lifted his arm up higher and tightened a tea towel below the elbow and another over the wrist wound.
‘Hold your arm high and don’t move!’ she commanded, and then she ran the four flights downstairs to knock on Mme Goddard’s (the landlady’s) door. It was two o’clock, in the morning.

Blood Everywhere

As always when the bottle had taken control of her husband, Anna was hiding on the floor in her usual corner in the locked kitchen, shaking with fear. But this time Allard did not quieten down in his usual way. His frantic shouting became louder and louder. She could hear him hitting the walls, slamming objects off the shelves. He banged on the door shouting her name in the loudest scream of despair she had ever heard:

‘ANNAA!’ And at that moment he slammed his fist with full force through the glass panel of the kitchen door. Glass shattered everywhere and then at last the shouting stopped. Anna could not see him through the hole in the broken glass.

"Accident"

‘Excuse me, I’m so sorry to disturb you so late, but my husband has had an accident,’ she panted, ‘Could I please use your telephone, it’s an emergency.’ Mme Goddard let her into the floor-polished room and, without saying a word she handed over the phone, bending from the hips like she didn’t want to get too close in case she might get contaminated with disaster. Anna dialled for a taxi and ran back up the four flights to fetch Allard who was dazed, drunk and looking very pale now. The tea towels were drenched in blood dripping into an increasingly large puddle on the bare floor boards, half a meter in diameter by now.

The Child

Tommy, who had woken up from the racket, poked his head out of the children’s room, squinting with sleep.
‘What’s going on? What’s all the noise, mum?’
‘It’s nothing darling, the glass broke and dad hurt his arm. Go back to bed and don’t touch anything. There is broken glass everywhere.’ Anna made sure she stood between Tommy and Allard so that he would not see the blood-drenched tea towel and the puddle of blood on the floor. She guided Tommy back to his bed and kissed him.
‘Don’t worry, dad just needs to be bandaged. We’ll be back soon. Go back to sleep. Night night, don’t let the bedbugs bite.’

To the Hospital

She closed the bedroom door and returned to Allard who did not say a word. Leaning on her, he stumbled down the stairs . As they left the house, Anna could see Mme Goddard peeping through her semi drawn lace curtains. Anna opened the taxi door and pushed her husband inside shouting:

‘Get us to the hospital, hurry!’ The driver looked back at them, seeing all the blood and shouted,
‘Vous n’allez pas m’ salir ma bagnole, hein? (You better not mess up my car!)’. Allard had lost consciousness by now. Anna had other worries than getting upset. She didn't respond to the driver’s lack of empathy. Instead, she cupped Allard’s head on her lap to stop it wobble from side...Read More...



Thank you all

I want to thank all of you who voted for this story and helped towards making it a winning HubNugget.

SUE ADAMS

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Domestic Violence and Psychology: A Critical Perspective (Women and Psychology)
This book rethinks the way psychological knowledge of domestic violence has typically been constructed. It puts forward a psychological perspective which is both critical of the traditional ‘woman blaming’ stance, as well as being at odds with the feminist position that men are wholly to blame for domestic abuse and that violence in intimate relationships is caused by gender-power relations. It is rather argued that to neglect the emotions, experiences and psychological explanations for domestic violence is to fail those who suffer and thwart attempts to prevent future abuse.
Amazon Price: $66.19
List Price: $105.00

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Comments

kimh039 profile image

kimh039 Level 6 Commenter 4 weeks ago

very nicely done, Sue. good insight and depth and understanding. congrats on the hub nugget, too.

Sue Adams profile image

Sue Adams Hub Author 4 weeks ago

Thank you Kim, maybe this Hub will help people with similar experiences feel less lonely and abandoned.

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